I recently had an acquaintance contact me and ask for special prayer. She's been in a marriage for over 20
years and has been verbally, physically and emotionally abused by her husband who is in denial about his mental health issues. He also has a recent substance abuse issue. She is embarrassed, numb and up until now didn't believe God would forgive her if she divorced him. Also, her Pastor told her it would look bad on the church if she divorced him. She works extra and does whatever she can to stay away from home to avoid
him.
My response to her was Awww you are definitely covered and kept by the blood! When someone is abusive and refuses to seek help, that is a circumstance in which God graces you to leave. You have options...You don't
have to live in fear and don't be embarrassed! God will make a way of escape, just follow his exit plan!!! 22 years is long enough... I love you and pray for supernatural peace and a way of escape! Mental illness doesn't change... But you can change your circumstances... God's grace and mercy be upon you...in Jesus' name. Amen...
And Pastor ain't God!!! Use wisdom... Who cares what they think...how the church would look if you were dead??? I believe that divorce isn't an option with the exception of adultery and abuse!!! You don't deserve either...
I knew my answer, but I went to the word to double check God's instruction. Marriage is God's institution. It is one which has a high calling and should be taken very seriously. It is "Holy Ground". One should not enter into it lightly, nor should one walk out of it lightly. The bible says this about divorce, "Moses permitted divorce as a
concession to your hard-hearted wickedness, but it was not what God had originally intended" (Matthew 19:8). Divorce was never a "Plan A" but God allows it as a concession, because of our sinfulness. Malachi 2:16 says God hates divorce, but allows for divorce in certain situations. Some marriages cannot be healed after abuse, betrayal or sexual immorality. It is at those times that God allows for divorce.
Marriage is a high calling and it should be treated that way. Marriage should never be approached with the attitude that if things don't work out there's always divorce. That mindset is marital defeat before you even get started. Divorce may provide a necessary way of escape for some, but know that it is not God's first choice for His children.
I say to you, do not ignore red flags. Believe that people are who they show you they are. If they never change, make sure you can live with it. Observe them in other settings, around family and friends versus just one on one with you. Hear from God and let the Holy Spirit direct and guide you. Do not make this decision on your own.
Read the following scriptures for more insight on God's perspective on Marriage...
Genesis 2:18, Matthew 19, John 2, 1Corinthian 7, Malachi 2:16
I live to inspire...be encouraged! Thanks for reading...
~Nicole